By Julius Fast
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Subtext: Beneath the Surface and Between the Lines of Workplace Communication
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Additional resources for Subtext: Beneath the Surface and Between the Lines of Workplace Communication
Sample text
The gradual refinement of control and the suppression of drives and desires are steps to maturity. We even define the subtext of immaturity as a lack of control. Immature children who can't or won't learn control are hard to live with. When they want something, they want it at once. When they feel angry, they cry or yell or throw a tantrum. When they're hungry, they beg for food. If they're old enough to get their own food, they eat erratically with no regard for regular hours. Gavin was that kind of a child, and not much better as an adult.
Again, there are exceptions. A young lawyer from Marin County in California told me that she once dared to go into court in jeans. "The judge gave me some flack, but not much. I knew he had jeans on under his robes. It was the jury I wanted to reach. They were all young, counterculture types, and I knew they'd react negatively to the subtext sent by a suit or even a dress. " This approach would be foolish in most cases, but this time it worked to project an image with which the jury could identify.
While a man touching a woman must do it briefly and lightly, a woman touching a man can hold the touch longer. It can be heavier, but the woman, too, must be aware of the sexual subtext. The right to touch someone in our society is largely determined by status. Someone of higher status may touch someone of lower status. The president may touch the CEO, the CEO may touch the lower executive, the executives may touch the workers. The secretary may not touch the executive—unless they have worked together for a long time and there is an easy companionship between them.